Saturday, May 27, 2017

All of a Sudden

Sometimes a song will come on that has this sort of sadness to it and it doesn't matter how good of a day you are having, or how well your life is turning out, or how lucky you are, but suddenly your soul sort of breaks to pieces and the tears start flowing and everything is awful for no reason.

Or sometimes the morning sun will shine just so and glint just slightly and gleam in a specific way off of the grass and summon a sort of alien longing and yearning and grief from the pits of your stomach and it is crippling and unexpected, so much so that you have to stop what you are doing and just blink.

Or what about those times when a breeze ruffles your hair, bringing with it the scent of something so foreign, like a west wind stuck in a southern gust that brushes the inside of your lungs and makes you desperate to see the ocean, or the mountains, or the sky or the stars, and the impossibility of a voyage of that immediacy and spontaneity makes you rage against the unfairness of it all.

And then that rage sort of consumes you from the inside and everything after that one little breeze tickles the underside of that great beast, urging it higher and higher, near to the knot in your throat, pulsing behind closed eyelids, grinding against the back of your teeth like prisoners digging a tunnel beneath their cells towards freedom.

Don't let it out.