Tuesday, September 21, 2010


Ah! And so the progression of my life takes another step forward towards the void!

*trumpets please.*

I have recently become lucky enough (and thusly blessed by the gods) to receive the opportunity to work at one of the very best Haunted Outdoor Attractions on the East Coast! "Headless Horseman Hayrides" Here I come!

Well - more likely Vini Vidi Vici... Whether it is spelled correctly or not.

You see I had the fortuitous interview on Thursday past. I drove in, stood in a semi circle of other perhaps-fortunates to listen to the General Manager - a gent by the name of Darren - explain some fone facts of the place. It has been in operation for 18 years now, they employ off-duty policemen to protect their staff (Of which they are VERy protective) and they have approximately 200 employees out of 600 received applications this year alone. They rank in the top 13 haunted attractions of the East coast, I believe, and the very bestest in something else!

And then I return home. Thinking "well at least I know where the place is now - and huh, it isn't that far from my house!" Lo and behold, on Friday afternoon, I receive another call - From the aforementioned Darren satying, "We'd LOVE to have you with us this year! Come on in tomorrow night at 5:30 so we can figure out where to put you. Oh, and wear ALL BLACK. Thanks!"

Excitedly, I hurried through my days, wondering just HOW much fun I was going to have. Following the scant directions that followed in a subsequent message from darren, I went to the employee lot, and got out of my car, beginning to trudge towards 'The Chalet'.

Of course, I have no idea where I am going. So after beseeching of a fellow Headless for assistance, being a humble n00b myself, I arrive at the costume cottage lovingly titled 'The Chalet'. My trail brings me to the innards of costume-make-up central. After approximately 30 seconds of standing, a shorter lady with spikey hair and thick round glasses stares at me. And stares for just a second, a flash of time.

"Hey. You're tall. You'd be good in ___ costume."

[[details censored for the sake of the surprise factor.]]

Then of course I take turns coming in, getting paperqwork, going back outside, hanging out with a friend of mine's mother whom was also working there, then going back inside, asking questions, coming outside with my costume, struggling into it, and waiting, then walking, then being blind, then being able to see, then being blind, then holding very very still.


So Yeah.

Come to Headless Horseman and be scared by your very own Oru.



Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Funny Story

SO, funny story via HGI.

I was doing housekeeping (like I do) and I get called into the office to listen to a 'really upsetting' message. And as we both listen in (myself in curiosity, my manager in complete outrage,) I hear a Mr. 'M' regale us with the tale of his stay.

He claims everything seemed all right. He was satisfied with everything until he discovered that the mirror in his bathroom HAD NOT BEEN CLEANED! *gasp* It LOOKED clean, there were no SPOTS to notice, however, when he left the relative safety of his steaming hot morning shower, he was aghast to find that there were, in fact, traces of filth.

Do you want to know how he knew? I'll tell you.

As he stepped out of the shower and into the steamed up room, the condensation on the mirror made way for something that had been written by a previous temporary resident of the room. It read...

"I am watching you."

And as My manager looks at me with the face that says, 'That is the worst possibel thing I can think of THIS DAY, and you better come up with something to make it right'... I do my damndest to suck back th elaughter that wants to peal forth from my lips, and I tuck back the edges of my mouth so they don't form a goofy grin.

Because honestly - THATS just funny.


Saturday, September 4, 2010


How do you measure Karma? How much is given before shit is taken away, exactly? Do I have to start walking old ladies across the street? Reading to orphans (Which would be fun, ad mittedly) or donating my lifesavings (which isn't much) to charities? Or am I at the point that only donating a kidney to a complete stranger will get me out of this miserable hole? Because I like my kidneys. Both of them. They're mine.

I consider myself a mildly selfish person. Granted, I don't steal and I don't cut in line, but I have been known to tell some white lies, and I have been known to do on occasion what is best for me. I like to laugh and I like to have a good time, and yes, I do make fun of random strangers on occasion too. I am not 100% a good person. Then again, no one is, are they?

Now I'm trying to figure out what exactly I did to piss off the cosmic Gods of "HATEYOURLIFE" in order for me to have aquired a bug problem from the rodents that share the eaves of my attic space appartment. Or not even - if they were bugs that DIDN'T share a sleeping space with me I would not be quite as put out. In fact, If they didn't CONSUME MY BLOOD in my SLEEP leaving red welts up and down my arms, neck, and back, oh and my legs and belly, I wouldn't be half as frustrated with my life.

And thats just it - OTHER then that, I'm doin' grand! It's great! Sure I can't spend any much money on fun times because I have to save in order to dig myself out of a financial hole but OTHERWISE I have a man I love, an adorable appartment, a working vehicle and a steady job. So WHY is THIS crashing around my head now?

So back to my original question - Whose ASS do I have to kiss to get a bit of leverage around here?