Wednesday, March 30, 2011


I have heard the phrase, "The Ebb and flow of Time." I think I actually used it once too, in something or other. I understood it to mean the constant, synchronized shifts that occur naturally through time. The progression of time. The slow, onward trudge of time.

But time, at least the increments of, have been manufactured by scientists to put limits on the insubstantial concept of 'time.' They move uniformly through space like invisible supervisors, numbly ticking off the checkmarks on their tidy little clip boards. It is unfeeling and pratical, and always goes by just as we thought it would.

I don't see time like that, though. Perhaps i'm not the only one to notice that when life is good - time is fast. Things are going by lightning fast, whirring in a happy little tornado around you. That is of course, until it stops. You see, when that torrent of happy time supervisors throws their clipboards to the wind and joins you - they loose track of time. So, In the process of picking up the loose, flapping papers, straightening their ties and trying to fill in all the checks they missed - it's only natural that they make some mistakes.

And of course, correcting anything is droll and time consuming. So instead of watching you have a crappy day, they turn their attention to whiting out the incorrect check marks, conversing and comparing observations they may have missed, and changing out of the shirt whose pen exploded in it's little time-supervisor pocket.

Which makes everything crawl by like years for you, because they have to re-align the universe. That sort of thing takes time. But eventually, time will level out again, and those supervisors will tuck in their shirts, and pack their papers and pull out a fresh pen, and everything with return to normal.


Sunday, March 27, 2011

This is a Test - The Oru Give-away!

This is a tip-of-the-hat to my fellow Blogger, the Lovely Lila Inglima of Young, Broke, and Married! She had the splendid idea of doing a Give-Away for her fans, and thus I think I shall do the same! For 3 reasons:

1.) I am curious as to see how many people follow my ramblings, adn I think this is a way to both test that number, and perhaps improve upon it!

2.) I like giving stuff away!

3.) I think celebrating 140 posts is a nice little mile-marker, don't you?

The Give-Away is going to be a Writing Cornucopia; a collection of books, poems, pens, and some writing and creative essentials! Because this is my first go at it, It won't be a big thing, but it will be something fun to receive in the mail, don't you think?

I will also immitate (Becasue that is the greatest form of flattery) Lila's method of entry: Please comment with your name, Your favorite entry, and your e-mail address!

You have until Friday, April 1st at MIDNIGHT to reply.

Sincerely Yours,

Saturday, March 26, 2011


I am so tired.

I am tired of owing money for some immaterial experiences. We learn for free every day of our lives. What makes higher education so much more expensive? Is our society just THAT exclusive? Are we trying to hoarde knowledge to ourselves - or to the select few who have the money to buy it? Perhaps not even that, it sounds too dramatic.... I am aware that it costs money to DO ANYTHING here. On Earth. But it boggles me, I don't think I've ever understood the 'why' of all this financial hell we tolerate. Why, if I own a house, do I have to pay for school taxes when I have no children? Why do I have to pay taxes on something that is never going to move? Why do I have to pay extra because I want to eat? Drive? LIVE?

I am tired of my own insignificance. We are each swallowed by the great mass of the whole, the writhing hive of humanity that selfishly takes over every inch of liveable space. The nations that war for the decomposed remains of ancient beasts and the people that breed and breed and breed and breed with no concern for if they can feed their spawn once they are born. The people that once had pride and dignity, honor and loyalty now dwindling to the peasant hoarde that picks off the bones of our self-riteous government. I am tired of having to pretend I give a damn about politics and religion and money and power. Bowing to the whims of those who think they are above me, those to get off on the idea that they can do and will do whatever they damn well please because I am too insignificant to matter, and too small in this pond to effect any real change.

I am tired of having to MAKE-UP my perfect world and fill it with perfect heroes and perfect villains. I am tired of triumphing over imaginary adversity. I am tired of having pride in a pretend character's achievements and adventures because I have none of my own to feel proud of. I am tired of believing that there is a God that loves us all and yet allows us to ruin ourselves. I am tired of taking crap from idiots because they are labeled 'boss'. I am tired of being unable to follow my right to The Pursuit of Happiness because apparently it's not as important as paying the great educational prostitute of the world, that figurative hooker on the corner, marketingh erself as the catch of a lifetime who ends up laughing in the dark at your inadequacy, getting you infected with a rare breed of depression, and then charging you out the ass for services that weren't what you were expecting.

I am tired.


Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Grand Design

One of the greatest challenges I find when I am writing, is the part where I play God. Meaning - when I create a life. Make a character. Flesh them out and let them loose.

The first thing to remember is that you have to be careful when you mold your characters. Every event you throw at them will twist and shape them throughout the story - too hard and they will become cold. Too soft, and they will become snivelers. If you make their past too traumatic, they will become catatonic and socially unacceptable. If you make their past too happy and too perfect, they will become naive children who will be so easily harmed.

This applies to many things - Role Playing games as well as stories. Anything where it requires you to fashion someone from thin air.

I have most certainly thrown characters together on a whim - on occasion they become amazing. In fact, a select few of my favorites were done just like that. I was given 5 minutes, a character sheet, and they said 'go.'

The main thing I have trouble with is refusing my own influence to bleed into the person I have just created. Granted, there are just certain situations where I have NO IDEA how I would, personally, react. But in normal, every-day events it is the hardest. what if the character is a smoker and you are not? You would refuse a cigarette if offered, however, your character would most likely accept. Or let's get even more basic. Your character is not as intelligent as you are.

That's a doosie.

YOU know exactly what happens if you piss on an electric fence. Your character however...?

You know I think I started this post out very differently in my head. So I'll end it with something random.

Writing prompt Idea:

Look through your character's desk drawer. Create knick-nacks and throw-away items they possess. Craft a short piece based on them cleaning the desk drawer out and what they find. You can tell a lot about a person by how neat or messy their drawers are, not to mention what is inside them.


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Reality or Fiction?

Now I don't usually do this...

All right that's a lie. I have been known to get sucked into a book or a game because of the compelling storylines. What can I say? If the dialogue is good enough for me to spend hours of my life intently watching the screen, listening to countless side stories and back stories, waiting for my chance to respond in a fashion that I believe my character would in the given situation.... It certainly must be worth it, right?

The idea of a choose your own adventure, mixed with button mashing fun, as well as a stunning story-line (That I am stunned and horrified to find others skipping and blurring through) fascinates me. I can get people to hate me or love me, I can side with whomever I want, and Hey, I can wield a sword.

And why shouldn't I be enthralled by this? I don't give two rats for the level-up, Yeah sure it's cool I can do a spiffy new spell, but I don't want to go through the games with a cheat code that gets me infinite money and exp. Naw, I'm in it for the story. The story that countless programmers, scripters, voice actors, digital artists and creators spent countless hours working out in their heads. I am in awe by how MUCH goes into just the dialogue alone. For any question there are at the very least three responses, ALSO depending on what class you started as, who you like and dislike....

I could go on, but the point is this...

I can create whomever I want, in the likeness of how I (possibly) wish myself to be. How I dream myself as a hero. How I wish I could react and be reacted to. I can shed this frail, gutless thing and become the Champion of Kirkwall or the Warden of Ferelden. (Yes. I know. Sod off.) I can pretend for a few hours out of my measly, pointless little life that I am important to the wellbeing of another world.

And you know what? It makes me happy.

Yes. I admit my own nerdiness. And no, I am not ashamed.


Monday, March 21, 2011


The Arts are a double edged blade. At least to me.

I can look at art for hours and admire the intricacies or simplicities of it, the flow of color, the lights and shadow (Virisimilitude I believe?), and I can doodle till my little heart is content, however at the same time I get so disheartened.

I was painting yesterday - and it's not as impressive as you think - and there were two schools of thought in my mind. The first, (as I stared down at the potential cover for chapter 1 of Tales of Therusia,) was that "Hey, thats not so bad for a hobbyist." I took a fraction of pride in my work, and I even attempted to do that strange and alien concept: 'shading'.

However, the second train of thought rolls it's eyes and crosses it's arms and just lays into my about "if you can SEE it just fine when you start, why can't you get your dumb hands to just copy it down? Is there something wrong with your synapses? THAT doesn't look ANYTHING like you want it to look. Fail."

Or maybe I'm just too hard on myself.

Either way I have to put the project aside and keep telling myself that it's just a hobby, and my delicate little ego can relax and stop twitching. Nothing is going to crack it over the head. This is just for fun. Deep, Soothing Breaths.


Saturday, March 19, 2011

What I like in a Kiss

My mood today has me blue. I've been sick, and therefore, unable to kiss my love for fear of spreading the plague to him. It is quite unfair. So instead of trying not to thinkabout it until I get better, I will torment myself with thoughts of his kisses. And I'm going to share them here. Becasue I can. So there.

What I like in a kiss....

I like certainty. The look in the eyes before the cards are even played that sayd "Yes, I am going to kiss you." The confidence behind eac hword leading to that point. The tilt of the head as if curious. The slow catlike grace in that step.

I like to feel the hand on my cheek before the kiss too, the fishing line that reels me in. That is very nice. Perhaps slipping back into my hair as well - soothing almost.

And then of course there has got to be passion. Don't give me any of those dry, flavorless kisses, those colorless pecks, those eyes-open duds that mean nothing. Give me a fire spark, a furnace, a tempest roaring in an instant. I need to know that I am loved just as much as I love. I need to have my own passion reflected back at me, otherwise it's just a sinkhole.


I wanna kiss my love now.



No Title

That Comic Thing

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Mission: Ongoing

It is so easy to fail.

All it needs to start outweighing your victory is the barest thought; the notion that you will not succeed. The vague idea that you will not make it through, or that you have made a mistake. As the most contagious and potentially deadly thing on the planet, Ideas can make or break you, make you grow or whither you.

And it is so hard to tell which ideas are which. You start them as tiny seeds planted in your heart, and you watch them grow into concepts, and then into revelations and then into plans and ideas like a doting parent, nurturing it with your contemplation.

It is when those ideas uproot themselves to leave the nest. There is no knowing which direction this may take you - will this idea be a bad egg? A black sheep? Will it bring shame to your name? Will it make enemies? Or perhaps it will be proud and strong, make allies where there were none, and pave a way to a brighter future?

I feel like I have a full nest of chirping ideas begging for food. I have fed them, dropping bodies of thought into their midst and allowing them to scrabble for it... but should I be a more attentive mother, and take the time for each of them? I do not want to risk the death of an idea that could so move the world as to make me a better part of it... but I also do not want to raise a miscreant who will time and time again turn against me.

Both of these have been in my past, and I still can't tell them apart - like ill-fated twins.

Ugh. Ideas.


Saturday, March 12, 2011


I am like the rain
I start as one,
weaving through the air
as dancers do
gaining my shape
forming my thoughts
and landing amid a heap
and now a puddle
with a million others
blurring my dreams
to fit the gutter
I run into
and drifting in a pool
until the heat
carries me off
rising above the
swells of millions
until I am once again
like the rain

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Comic Endeavor

Decided to upload comics when I knew I would be near a computer - Thursdays.

Hope it's acceptable, if not simply entertaining so far!


Sunday, March 6, 2011

Tales of Therusia

A Work in Progress.

Tales of Therusia.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

A little Distracted...

I find myself breaking into a few rather distinct Facets recently. No, I am not having a break down, but I do feel as if I am beginning to break down, i.e. disentigrate into my baser components (As opposed to mental relapse, etc...)

I have been throwing around deadlines like it's My JOB... I have the zombie apocalypse side of me, who would like nothing more then wreak havok and kill undead-jerk-faces. I have the quasi-intelligent, mildly ambitious side of me who is looking out for places to showcase her new one act play. And there is the wildly romantic, flighty, and often scatterbrained side of me who is on-agan, off-again writing a bajillion words of fantasy/epic fiction.

So why not throw in another one?

I... well I was in Barnes and Noble, minding my ownbusiness, when I spotted the comic section. And whaddayaknow, right next to that was the HOW to MAKE a comic section, and twenty minutes later I had picked out two how-to-draw books, and was driving home with this giddy feeling in my chest and a stupid, goofy grin on my face. And you know what i did? I went home and tried to draw, and I drew for a while! And I came up with four pages of a comic!

:) Still deciding whether or not I will be posting those... a little less sure of my skills there, haha.



Wednesday, March 2, 2011

New Goals

So now is when i admit to the world that I feel far more comfortable with my writing within the confines of a deadline.

I have not written much on that rather large piece I did in December SINCE December. I felt particularly guilty at that notion, and decided it would be healthier if I just set another flippin deadline for myself.

Not that I like doing projects or anything.*

In any case, I have thusly updated my Countdown side-board thing-a-majigger to expand upon the vague basis I have given you! Huzzah!

I am also thinking of recording episode 3 of the Daphne Zombie Journal this evening after I get out of work. Hmm. Decisions Decisions.


*Oru Is subconsciously trying to mirror College because if she's still PAYING for it, why the heck not!?*