It is so easy to fail.
All it needs to start outweighing your victory is the barest thought; the notion that you will not succeed. The vague idea that you will not make it through, or that you have made a mistake. As the most contagious and potentially deadly thing on the planet, Ideas can make or break you, make you grow or whither you.
And it is so hard to tell which ideas are which. You start them as tiny seeds planted in your heart, and you watch them grow into concepts, and then into revelations and then into plans and ideas like a doting parent, nurturing it with your contemplation.
It is when those ideas uproot themselves to leave the nest. There is no knowing which direction this may take you - will this idea be a bad egg? A black sheep? Will it bring shame to your name? Will it make enemies? Or perhaps it will be proud and strong, make allies where there were none, and pave a way to a brighter future?
I feel like I have a full nest of chirping ideas begging for food. I have fed them, dropping bodies of thought into their midst and allowing them to scrabble for it... but should I be a more attentive mother, and take the time for each of them? I do not want to risk the death of an idea that could so move the world as to make me a better part of it... but I also do not want to raise a miscreant who will time and time again turn against me.
Both of these have been in my past, and I still can't tell them apart - like ill-fated twins.