I am so tired.
I am tired of owing money for some immaterial experiences. We learn for free every day of our lives. What makes higher education so much more expensive? Is our society just THAT exclusive? Are we trying to hoarde knowledge to ourselves - or to the select few who have the money to buy it? Perhaps not even that, it sounds too dramatic.... I am aware that it costs money to DO ANYTHING here. On Earth. But it boggles me, I don't think I've ever understood the 'why' of all this financial hell we tolerate. Why, if I own a house, do I have to pay for school taxes when I have no children? Why do I have to pay taxes on something that is never going to move? Why do I have to pay extra because I want to eat? Drive? LIVE?
I am tired of my own insignificance. We are each swallowed by the great mass of the whole, the writhing hive of humanity that selfishly takes over every inch of liveable space. The nations that war for the decomposed remains of ancient beasts and the people that breed and breed and breed and breed with no concern for if they can feed their spawn once they are born. The people that once had pride and dignity, honor and loyalty now dwindling to the peasant hoarde that picks off the bones of our self-riteous government. I am tired of having to pretend I give a damn about politics and religion and money and power. Bowing to the whims of those who think they are above me, those to get off on the idea that they can do and will do whatever they damn well please because I am too insignificant to matter, and too small in this pond to effect any real change.
I am tired of having to MAKE-UP my perfect world and fill it with perfect heroes and perfect villains. I am tired of triumphing over imaginary adversity. I am tired of having pride in a pretend character's achievements and adventures because I have none of my own to feel proud of. I am tired of believing that there is a God that loves us all and yet allows us to ruin ourselves. I am tired of taking crap from idiots because they are labeled 'boss'. I am tired of being unable to follow my right to The Pursuit of Happiness because apparently it's not as important as paying the great educational prostitute of the world, that figurative hooker on the corner, marketingh erself as the catch of a lifetime who ends up laughing in the dark at your inadequacy, getting you infected with a rare breed of depression, and then charging you out the ass for services that weren't what you were expecting.
I am tired.