"....why I am, What I am.... Call me a fool and it's true I am - 'cuz I don't know who I am."
Thank you Jekyll & Hyde the Musical for those few phrases.
Sometimes I do things with no idea of the why behind it. Sometimes I expect myself to adapt to situations that are impossible to acclimate to. And in that case - it's just a matter of which part of me is going to die first. Naive Youngster is already buried - so what goes next into the matching plot of earth? Perhaps my Imaginative artisan? Or my enthusiastic creator? Perhaps my ability to smile will evaporate, or my sense of morals?
What if I gained something in their place? I'd love to get something good, like a back-bone, fire in my blood, righteousness in my eyes, a humble genius or even a modest architect of fantastic dreams.... however I'm not that lucky, am I? For in place of my Naive Youngster I received Bitter Adult. And in place of a joyful heart I inherited a callous scar.
Better luck next time.