I am suffering from the 'Here or There' Dilemma.
You see, I feel that I have worked very hard to get to where I am now. I have struggled as is my due, and I feel that I have perservered through some very classic hardships. And now with one foot firmly on the edge of this mountainside, and both hands preventing a rockslide that would crush me, here I stand.
And of course - I look back.
What is the point in struggling if you can't see how much you have accomplished? Fears assail me at each glance - what if I haven't even mored from the base of this mountain? What if the ground has crumbled behind me and all my efforts were for nothing? what If I am farther up the cliff then I thought? Will I get vertigo and fall? What about if I slip?
The avalanche is smaller then it sounds, but there is still weight resting on my shoulders as I fidget beneath it. My footholds are secure, for the moment, but how long will that last? My options feel as if they are only 1.) withstand the barrage from above and then move on, or 2.) run back down this mountain with the avalanche in tow, hoping to beat it to the ground.
Then again, there is the third option - dive to the side and grab hold of that lone, scraggly little tree on the side of the rocks and let the Avalanche pass me with little detriment.
....At that point I think I should invest in rope.