Reincarnation?

 Every once in a while I give reincarnation a serious think. 

It doesn't help, that when I was a kid (and sure, a little depressed,) I was convinced that I did not belong in this world, that I wasn't meant to be here, that I was supposed to be anywhere else. It doesn't help, because I've been starting to feel that way again, intensely, and upsettingly. 

I digress. 

Reincarnation is such a great concept. I feel like the people who came up with it were sitting idly, contemplating their own point of views. Their own consciousness, the inability to literally see through any other perspective than our own. How when we sleep time sort of blips between eyes closing and opening again? Or else we have wild and wacky dreams that span vast lengths of time, or simple blinks of space. 

Did they come to the same conclusion that I did? That the consciousness that we inhabit in those moments doesn't just.... stop? That is must keep going, somewhere else, awaken as something else, that it is as continuous as the chain of events that craft and mold the universe? 

Because I believe that when I die, and I close my eyes for the last time, and everything slips away, I will experience the most intense dream sequence imaginable. It might last for eons, for moments, but it will be glorious and terrifying and heartbreaking all at once. 

And then - I believe that I will open my eyes. 

Perhaps I will remember my old life in those first moments, and that is why babies cry and cry and cry when they are first born. Or perhaps I won't remember, and I'll cry for forgetting. Or perhaps, not cry at all, and simply be filled with awe, and wonder, and gratitude at having been given something new. 

And maybe in that next one I'll feel a little more suited to it. 

It's a nice thought, anyway.