Stream Of Thought

  I sit like a gremlin.

Or someone with 'atypical sexual preferences' -?

(Its a joke somewhere. But they aren't wrong, I guess.)

I have a big heart, you know.

But it's a little blinded by the light.

I wear a pair of birds around my neck in gold and enamel and glossy paint on a purple ribbon.

People compliment it.

I told someone that it represents my loves and they asked how old my kids were and I shook my head and we laughed and while I glowed they glowered and that was that.

I dress like a man sometimes and am proud of how I look. 

But I do enjoy a frilly skirt.

Does it matter? Outside is outside. 

That oppressive force known as 'everyone else' can't help but push and pull me around, but thats what skin is for.

It keeps outside out.

And no one can touch what's inside unless I take it out to show them.

Right now, I have my palm open to feed the birds.

Feeling what you need to feel is not wrong. Sharing it shouldn't be taboo. Loving strongly isn't 'sinning' and fuck you, it hasn't been "just the internet" for twenty years. 

We are a race of words. 

My heart is a little blinded by the light, yes, but it knows where it's going. Stunned by brilliance, acceptance, compassion, imagination, and following birdsong.

So Imma keep sitting like a gremlin.

April 1st Report:

I did Jack Shit.

<3

Back from the Dead

ALL RIGHT you SHAMBLING ZOMBIES

[And by this I mean my thoughts &
 general creative ingenuity.]

Get in Line! Order up! Form Rank!

[Calm down you toxic little shits!]

Don't think I haven't noticed your listless behavior! Don't think I haven't acknowledged your lack of general ferocity, or your weak grip!

[I'm unmotivated and Depressed,
and therefore you've been anxious and confused.]

You are making me look bad! This is the APOCALYPSE, you should be frothing at the mouth, gouging out intestines and feasting on unsuspecting brains!

[We're going to have a lot of time on our hands,
 so lets try to buck-up, ok?]

Don't give me those dead-eyed stares! I know there's a beast in there waiting to take a bite out of me!

[I really need you to shake it out.
Lets just do something creative, ok?]

So this is what's going to happen, you lazy, slobbering mass. I'M going to give you til the count of 10 to sharpen those teeth, snap those shambling feet in my direction, and let out a good, terrifying moan.

[I made a new tag about zombies
 and it exploded so now you
HAVE to help me.]

BUt don't just go after me - oh no. I've got a whole camp of survivors getting soft! We have to remind them that survival isn't easy! We have to go in there and raise some hell so they feel ALIVE again, do you hear me?

[But it isn't just the cosplay -
I need to finish a costume,
and do my writing,
and prepare for April!]

As a starter, I'm going to dangle this fresh meat off of the back of my jeep here, and I'll drive it slowly towards the gates, and you idiots BETTER pick up the pace, because as soon as I get thee I'm opening the gates, and insanity is going to break out.

[April is Camp NaNoWriMo, where I've ALREADY
decided to do my first outline draft of a story -
no Pantsing, no winging it, an ACTUAL outline,
which I have never done before and
 am incredibly daunted by and
Imma need your help.]

LETS DO THIS SHIT!

[OH GOD WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF.]

*

The month Of April is coming. And with my birthday ( weee) and Camp NaNoWriMo on the line, I'm going to be using this blog as an updater/countdown/ vent box for my outlining and creative activities. 

I hope you follow along and are entertained by my general shenanigans.

Oru Out.