I hate to flip flop between moods like this, but sometimes I just can't figure a way around it. I'll be blessed by the kindness of strangers, loving life, just having seen an awesome movie and had great sex to boot (I know, too much information,) and the next morning, I will still have this fiery grip of tension around my neck like a noose. I'm not sure what causes it. It could be the lack of sleep. It could be the drastic temperature changes in my lovely appartment: hot to cold to chiled to humid to hot to humid to cold to hot, etc... Or, it could be the idea of going to work.
Just the idea. Forget about ACTUALLY going. THAT is probably what causes the very corner of my eye to tick a bit whenever the phone rings. THAT is what causes the corner of my lips to turn down in an angry grimace when someone asks me if they can book three rooms under a so-and-sos wedding group. THAT is what causes my heart to skip a beat when the adrenaline from the thought of beating someone's face in with the key card maker because they demand a new room when we're SOLD OUT because their sheets are too small, or the AC isn't working JUST RIGHT or maybe the room smells a little strange. THAT is what makes me want to quit this stinking job and try my luck with unemployment benefits.
So when I get off work today - I'm going to do some shopping at walmart, get Navvy some more crickets, and price out a new fishtank. Then I'm going to see about putting up some shelves in the appartment acrobat style, and do something productive with my day. I'll even pay off some bills while Im at it. Boo-ya.
And I think I'll actually write out a poem.